Life Beautiful
by Youko1
Summary: Kenren and Tenpou mush... timeline? somewhere between now and then... definitely yaoi. you've been warned. enjoy. :)


'It won't get any worse than this...'  
  
So mused the man who stood at the threshold of a wide cobbled path that snaked around Heaven's great garden. A gentle breeze blew past him as if it had heard his misery and sought to offer him solace, which would never have been noticed anyway. Closing his eyes, the bespectacled kami took a deep drag from his cigarette, his one and only fiery companion that did more than the wind could do (sedate his overwrought nerves), and started to tread the lonely pathway that stretched out in front of him.  
  
'Nothing but timeless monotony.' Peace, prosperity, reverence. Bullshit. Beneath the sparkling guise of eternity lies a rotting corpse of the once glorified virtues of the cosmos. Time immemorial had nothing to do with golden traditions.  
  
Greed, gluttony, pride, deceit, murderous pangs of covetousness. In no particular order. In the grand chaos that is the massive expanse of the universe, one would find all mentioned in Heaven, and perhaps find even more. If there was a hell, it sure ain't on earth.  
  
And the list goes on and on and on... and on. But that's not including having to fight to survive every damn day of your life--being hounded by distrust and spied on by jealousy would have been just great for your everyday dose of blood-curling thrill. Being the most dangerous man in Heaven wasn't at all that bad, though it wasn't his fault that it wasn't his cup of tea; mind throwing in carnage-flavored cookies while your at it. Being by far one of the most brilliant men in or out of the field to ever serve the imperial army of illustrious Heaven was never as glamorous as it seemed. The winds of war did have their own temperament after all. When you knew too much, you'd be hanged on the spot.  
  
And that's what he had to live with every fucking day of his life, just because he was fucking brilliant. He could smell a scam a mile away and keep his mouth shut after an overwhelming impulse to tell all. After all, didn't God teach his flock the virtue of silence? Or was that pure human instinct that was preaching when you knew that your very blood hung in the balance? That one spilt drop would upset the delicate web of morality; upturn the very foundation of every religion in the known world?  
  
Who the hell cares. One life in exchange for the prevention of a celestial war of a higher magnitude to add to other less pointless ones was enough. Too bad it just had to be his.  
  
'Way to go, Gensui. You've just signed your death warrant.' If sensibility had anything to do with anything, it was this anything that kept the balance in check. He'd keep his mouth shut, they'd spare his life. He breaks, he's dead. No sweat. He'd be tried and hanged for treason and nobody would question why the verdict was guilty beyond reasonable doubt.  
  
So many issues... so many doubts... "So many goddamned crickets at this time of the night." Tenpou said out loud, no reason in particular. Heaven forbid he was starting to sound like Konzen. The eternally sullen yet beautiful nephew of the Godess of Mercy have had better days, but at least the marshal was more prone to smiling than the blonde kami was, and ever could be. Well, at least not until the little bouncing bundle of joy that was Goku was literally dropped on his lap and annoyed him senseless... but nevertheless made him a lot more optimistic than his personality would normally allow.  
  
And at least Konzen had back-up. Should he disclose any knowledge of the putrid schemes Heaven's higher ups were hiding between the cheeks of their asses, he's not bound to get the torture Tenpou would be happily bestowed upon. After all, he wasn't Kanzeon Bosatsu's nephew for nothing, but surely he'd get his punishment all the same--probably a trip to Coney Island or something equally sugary as that.  
  
Back to the crickets.  
  
It was a while before he noticed that his cigarette was nothing more but a cylinder of ash between his fingers, and that he had wandered off away from the main pathway that was lined by beautiful curving wrought-iron lamps and had ended up at the edge of a vast pond. "I, Tenpou Gensui, the most brilliant tactician of Heaven's Western Army, am a consummate idiot." Getting lost wasn't exactly one of his best qualities, and being sentimental while he was at it was not even on the list. As far as he knew, he seldom put sentiments on anything.   
  
'Let live. Let go. Never let god.' It wasn't like he didn't feel anything, but the mere idea of sentimentality and attachment as a dangerous, spiraling tandem could trigger an emotional hysteria. Life was given for a reason, and taken back without a second thought. His love affair with his library was more than enough to occupy him on cold, lonely nights.  
  
Then came a certain fiery general...  
  
Handsome, aggressive, uncouth, and completely seducable, he had sauntered his way into Tenpou's library like it was his own, lighted a cigarette and simultaneously sparked a certain interest in the brunette that he never thought anyone was capable of before. Damn that devilish smile, that sensual charm, and those unsubtle hints of his proverbial masculine prowess. Damn that ass as well.  
  
Days and nights and endless hours in the company of an unexpected visitor was, if not for anything, a more or less welcomed deviation from the otherwise mundane life in Heaven. Good company, good wine, good smoke. That was all he needed, all he could ask for. At least there was one person in the entire goddamned Heaven who could find him underneath the highly inflammable jungle that was his library.  
  
'Oi, Tenpou!'  
  
'Hmm?'  
  
'Where ya at?'  
  
'Here.'  
  
'Left or right?'  
  
'Back.'  
  
'Ah.'  
  
As simple as that. He could find the marshal anywhere. Hell, he'd follow the bookworm anywhere given the chance. He'd clean Tenpou's library for christ's sake! No reason in particular, really.   
  
Yeah, right...  
  
Then came the rumors--the predatory buzz that seemed to follow the two of them like persistent hounds on the trail of a fox. All of a sudden he was Mrs. Kenren Taishou. Hate, humiliation, passive acceptance, what more was he to do? It was like stopping a wild forest fire with an empty bucket. It felt like falling into thin ice at first, then the cold just numbs you over and you feel like nothing but a corpse. A living, breathing cadaver at the mercy of maggots eating away your former self. That's precisely how it felt.  
  
'Does it bother you?'  
  
'What? Being branded as your wife?'  
  
'Obviously.'  
  
'No. You?'  
  
'No.'  
  
'Good.'  
  
So much for corpses...  
  
Life could change in a heartbeat, so the saying goes. But for them, veritably it never did. Nothing altered into anything worse than it already is, but it did give them reasons to spit back equally sensitive insults at those who dared to tamper with their personal affairs, minus the pun please.   
  
'Not like there's anything sexual between us. That wouldn't look good on your record as the legendary skirt-chasing Casanova of Heaven, now would it?'  
  
Why Kenren, you seem so flushed...?  
  
Sure he had total disregard of rank, was foul-mouthed, a notorious womanizer and a compulsive gambler--not to mention that he had a rapturous love affair with anything alcoholic--nevertheless, the Taishou was among the ranks of Tenpou when it came to sheer brilliance on the battlefield, commanding his legion with an iron fist and expects nothing but excellence from his soldiers. Not always liked, but often admired. Heaven's hierarchy wasn't at all in his favor--not like it mattered; as long as he was useful to the army, he was worth his weight in blood and gold.  
  
But Kenren Taishou's worth was way beyond any gilded scale could measure as long as Tenpou was concerened. For what reason? None in particular... just like every other goddamned reason in that goddamned place.  
  
He couldn't understand himself. One minute he was thinking of vital strategic points on a map, the next he was staring at the stunning reddish hues of the sunset, noting that it was no comparison to Kenren's eyes.   
  
'For heaven's sake, I'm going insane.'  
  
So the stuck up asses that was Heaven's court was right, or at least the conniving mistress of fate had her threads all wrong. But saying that he was the general's wife would be too politically correct, then it would be proper to say that he was Kenren's...  
  
Nah, it couldn't be possible. You dirty little mind.  
  
'You'd be crazy to expect anything remotely intimate out of all this.' He said to himself over and over and over again whenever the convenience of the thought struck him at random moments of his lonesome. 'I fall, you fall. We're all damned fools.' It was too much for him to bear the weight of the consequences that were against them. Besides, he wouldn't give those pompous jackasses the satisfaction of rubbing salt on his open wounds. There certainly was hell to pay.  
  
Besides, Kenren himself wouldn't let him live it down had he known about Tenpou's newly found, and rather awkward, regard of him. The man's got raging hormones crawling on his very skin, damn it, and he looks at everybody like he was stripping them happily naked so it would make no difference if he looked at Tenpou in the same allegedly 'casual' way.  
  
Kenren was a sensible man. A charming, handsome, and highly sensual god of a sensible man. Right?  
  
'Not like there's anything sexual between us.'  
  
Indeed...  
  
"If I were a traveler coming from the West and I was to tell you I was in search for a friend..." [1]  
  
Speaking of the devil.  
  
"Then I would say that I'm from the East and that I am the one you are looking for." [2] A soft smile crept up on Tenpou's lips as he replied to the ancient greeting. Note to self: musk, nicotine, Casablanca lilies, and a man in a tight leather battle suit all combined made a tremendously potent aphrodisiac. Where are the chocolates?  
  
"Damn right. Where the hell have you been? I was almost lovesick." Kenren said with splendid mockery. A trail of smoke followed his approaching form.  
  
"Truly?" Tenpou queried nonchalantly, lighting another cigarette. "Humor me."  
  
"Nice to see you too." Kenren had found the convenience of a wisteria tree near by for leaning onto. "Care to tell me why this sudden commune with nature?"  
  
Another puff and an offhanded shrug. "Had to take a leak."  
  
Bullshit. Kenren smirked. "Took you long enough."  
  
"Miss me?" Whether or not it was an urge to flirt or merely for the sake of lighthearted teasing that made Tenpou ask such a question was beyond him. And Kenren took that into account.  
  
"Not if you don't tell me what you're doing here."  
  
Tenpou didn't answer for a long while. "I got lost?"   
  
"Ch. You couldn't get lost even if your life depended on it. Talk."  
  
The marshal sighed. When Kenren had to know, he HAD to know.   
  
But Tenpou didn't have answers for him. Well, at least not yet. His concerns, no matter its degree, were gnawing at his insides that it nearly made him sick. It was like a big bag of needles being carried on his back: no matter which way he handled it, it poked at him through its fibrous confinement.  
  
"You're pushing your luck, general, but regretfully, I'd rather leave the ambiguity of my thoughts to myself." Keep me sane, Kenren. Stay, I need your help. "Besides, I could ask you the same thing myself."  
  
"Hmm. Got lost."   
  
"Do you dare mock me, Taishou?"  
  
"Could have fooled me."  
  
But I didn't mean to... "We are all fools, Kenren. I fall, you fall; we're all damned fools."  
  
"Stop being so damn cryptic with me, Gensui! I'm not a goddamn fortune-teller." Whether it was the quiet plea in Tenpou's voice or Kenren's persistent nature that kept him from leaving the tormented marshal to deal with his own ghosts, he could not tell. Kenren pushed himself off his tree and faced Tenpou squarely. "Look," his hands found their perch on Tenpou's shoulders as he bent to the shorter man's eye level. "Why don't we try and make eye contact for a second here and tell me what the hell is going on inside that gorgeous head of yours, huh?"   
  
"Flattery will get you nowhere, Kenren." Oh please, by all means, go on...  
  
"I'd flatter you all I want until I get the answers I asked for." What the Taishou wants, the Taishou gets.  
  
"I think you forget who you're talking to." Seduce me pretty...  
  
"I'm not one for orders, you know that. Sorry for being a worried dipshit subordinate."   
  
Worried?  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I have a heart, in case you haven't noticed." Really, to have a man with the likes of Kenren Taishou search your soul for answers you have no courage to give on your own was like being eyed down by a tiger intent on making you its first meal of the day.  
  
'I'm lost.'  
  
"Kenren, please," His mind wanted him to say something that would get Kenren off his back, but his body defied all reason. Not that he didn't want Kenren's company, it was just that that moment with him, alone, under the blazing stars was what he feared most.  
  
"Fine, go ahead and lock yourself up. I guess you have no use for me here after all." Kenren finally said, throwing his cigarette to the ground and holding his arms up in defeat. It was useless after all to just stand there and wait for someone with the likes of iron-willed Tenpou to yield to him. "If you need me, though I doubt it, you know what to do." He could have been sent to Hell for sounding so expectant.  
  
It would be a veritable lie, though, to say that Kenren didn't hope that the marshal would call him back. Oh but he could really do a good job at looking seriously dejected...  
  
"Wait!" Tenpou almost choked. Kenren almost tripped.  
  
The general grinned, but quickly hid his relief as he languidly turned to face his superior. "Yeah?"  
  
He said the only thing that came to mind. "I'm sorry, general."  
  
"You don't have to be so formal, Ten-chan. I have a name."  
  
"Sorry, Kenren," he stressed his correction.   
  
It was at that moment of strained wits did the air become pregnant again with silence, save for the gentle whispering of sweet nothings by the wind that swirled around them, like a lover's gentle caress. Their rendezvous was getting nowhere, that at least was for certain, but Kenren had resolved himself by then to stay and get to the bottom of Tenpou's anxiety, even if he had to wait all night and swim stark naked in that pond like he was diving for pearls. He had always wanted to be of help to Tenpou for some reason he didn't want to be aware of; it was just the way it had always been. He could be ruthless, uncouth, disrespectful, and the list goes on and on and on, but he could be anything but everything on that list when it came to the handsome marshal of the Western Army.   
  
Over the past few years, he had learned to appreciate everything about the man: his odd habits, his untidiness, his love affair with books, his tolerance for alcohol, and his constant craving for nicotine. Even that infernal smiling mask of his that occasionally came in handy. But despite and above all, he had grown to respect the genius that was Tenpou Gensui. His brilliance, his fastidiousness, and the honesty that was so rare in those parts. Not to mention his impeccable charm... sometimes he couldn't help but notice subtle hints of a side of his comrade that he would never have otherwise been privileged to see if he wasn't anybody else but himself. Not even the high-spirited saru or the beautiful Konzen Douji were aware of Tenpou's sweetness in manner that had piqued the general's interest and had left him unsatisfied every time.   
  
'I never knew you were such a sweetie.'  
  
'I thought you'd never notice.'  
  
Of course, he wouldn't for the life of him admit it to anyone, -especially- the man in front of him that so gingerly leaned on the same wisteria, staring off into the darkness of the night, wearing a wistful yet almost sad expression on his face. No mask, no pretenses, just the plain, naked truth that presented itself so willingly, so dangerously alluring.  
  
"What I would give for a moment's peace..." Tenpou's soft baritone pierced the quiet spell around them.  
  
"Need help?"   
  
Thanks. "Nothing fatal. It's just the boredom that comes with the title is all."  
  
"Like a leech, huh?"  
  
"Yes. Very. It's a shame that I do not find the same mundane monotony of perpetual spring enjoyable as Goku might have, or as Kanzeon Bosatsu finds her lotus garden a mecca of interest--honestly, why and how is beyond me, or even share the upper echelon's taste for blood on their platters of bureaucratic squabbles." He stopped with a heavy sigh.  
  
"Figures."  
  
"You seem to have no problems with it, though."   
  
"You talk about a moment's peace, Tenpou, like it's not in front of you."   
  
"This moment is no different from the next, nor does it differ from any random moment a week, a month, a year before or after it. Eternity in a lacquered box that's locked from the outside. I cannot think of any other life than this, Kenren." Oh sweet, vicious ennui.  
  
Kenren hung his head and whispered, "I have."  
  
"Oh? Care to amuse me?"   
  
A sigh escaped from his lips. "Simple. Take things just as they are." The taller man crossed the distance between them and delicately slipped his hand through Tenpou's cocoa-hued locks, his slender fingers curling as he reached the tips. Whether it was impulse or instinct, he didn't know, but he soon found himself leaning into Kenren's touch. "One moment to give, Tenpou, and that's all it takes."   
  
Whatever possessed him to do what he did next... well... was beyond him.  
  
He released the marshal's soft brown tresses and let it cascade back down onto his shoulders, "Mine..." he purred as his hand then slipped behind Tenpou's neck to coax the smaller man closer to him, his nose and his lips brushing lightly over the flushed cheeks as Tenpou's eyes sensuously drifted close. "Mine..." Slowly, slender probing fingers found its way down willowy shoulders to rest entwined with Tenpou's own. Then in one gentle sweep, Kenren brought their clasped hands to Tenpou's chest and pressed them to his heart. Blood met emeralds in that one infinite moment before Kenren whispered his final claim.  
  
"Mine?"  
  
Tenpou remained silent, unsure of himself and of the sanity of the man that stood at such proximity to him. He could feel Kenren's fingers nervously twitch among his own as the silence continued to stretch into an awkward void.   
  
On the other hand, at the wake of exquisite bliss, panic started to gnaw at the edges of the general's self-control. He feared that his blind and completely unexpected leap of faith had been only in vain. It felt like an onslaught of frostbite to get stuck in a situation like he was in: a moment with him, alone, in a conspicuous position no less, and under the blazing stars... and the marshal was too quiet for comfort. God, if he lived through this, someone better remind him to take a trip down to earth have Goku dig a hole for him on some barren wasteland. Or if not, he could just kill himself right on the spot.   
  
But Patience's prodigal children are indeed the most blessed. When it seemed that all hopes were lost, a smile, maybe two, and a gently whispered "yes" finally came and Kenren was on his way to the moon with utter delight. He felt the urge to melt into a puddle of mud with relief.  
  
At last, the haze was lifted, and Tenpou found himself staring clearly at eternity. He saw himself looking down a clear pond and seeing the carp that swam leisurely in quiet little circles, their scales gleaming gold in the morning sunlight. 'Take things just as they are'. Nothing but that moment captured like a photograph. And that instant will elapse into infinite moments to create a thread called a 'lifetime' but instead of being the drab grays and blacks, it was a myriad of hues--a prism under a lamp.  
  
Life can change in a heartbeat, so they say. And life has indeed changed at that one pivotal instant when he saw himself in Kenren's eyes. It was true that Tenpou knew no other life than what they had, but in finding a reason to live it, he would have it no other way. To hell with sentimentalism and attachment complexes. To hell with the never-ending spring, to hell with those damn squabbling bureaucrats, to hell with Kanzeon Busatsu and her lotus garden, to hell with Konzen and his bitter cynicism, to hell with Litouten and his vile and perverse sense of humor. To hell with them all, if only it would mean that he would find Kenren waiting for him when he gets back.  
  
"Speak up, general or you may never have the chance to say it. An idle mind is the devil's playground." Tenpou purred.  
  
Kenren grinned. "Then let him play."  
  
If God has something to do with this, Hail, Hail. If not, Satan had better have a damn good excuse. Someone should have told him how he craved for this. He would soon have to tidy up his quarters now, wouldn't he? Let live, let go, let HIM. No wonder women so willfully surrendered to Kenren's bidding. With lips as sensuous as his, especially if they were softly nibbling on his own, for heaven's sake... let the devil play indeed.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Youko  
February 2003  
  
Revised March 2, 2003; 4 AM EST  
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******** Author's Notes*********  
[1] & [2] : These lines were taken from "The Mummy Returns", I just don't know if I got them right, but as far as I can remember that's what they BASICALLY meant. Do tell me if I'm wrong then I'll gladly do the necessary corrections.  
  
(3) You would have to excuse me for the occasional OOCness. Once I get the feel right, I'll get back to it immediately.  
  
(4) Thanks to sanzo for the inspiration! I always knew you were a sucker for mush. Eat your heart out, hun.  
  
(5) Comments and suggestions will be gladly accepted. Flames will just be used to light my cigarettes (yes, I smoke :P) If you don't like yaoi or the pairing or whatever, well you shouldn't have gone this far. Shame on you.  
  
(6) A few minor corrections here, and a few major reconstructions there. I was rather unsatisfied when I read this again after quite a while so I decided, 'what the hell, it's mine anyway'. Thank you for those who read my little piece of contribution to the Saiyuki fandom. Arigatou Gozaimasu! 


End file.
